The Yahtzee Manifesto

Dear Yahtzee Manifesto, I was playing Yahtzee last week with my son and the ended up as a tie – 234 to 234! There is nothing in the instruction book that covers this type of situation. What the proper way to determine the winner? Thank you for your time. Jim Jakowski Kanata, Ontario Dear Jim,  There is no “proper” way to determine the winner in the case of a draw. It all depends on the circumstances of the game in question and, most importantly, the “house rules” that the players have agreed upon prior to the start of play. Of course there is no answer to be found in the corporate instruction booklet – you need to look beyond the walls that are blocking your view of the truth. In most cases if the game ends in a draw, no winner is declared and you settle for the tie. Remember, Yahtzee is not only about conquering your opponents in an eruption of points. If that is your only conception of the game, then there is much more you have yet to discover. If, however, the sister-kissing gam...

My Dear Readers,  As many of you may know, the World Yahtzee Institute is well-known for its longstanding practice of granting each of its employees a 30 day sabbatical every calendar year. The WYI encourages that the time be used in retreat from the modern world, allowing a state of seclusion to stimulate your Yahtzee unconscious. In June, I began my 2012 sabbatical in the lowlands of Ecuador. Years ago I made a promise to a shaman that I would celebrate my birthday with him and his tribe, and this was the year. My hosts took every effort to make sure that my birthday was wonderful. It turns out my spirit animal is an armadillo. But a few days after the festivities I began to develop sores on my arms and legs. I didn’t think much of it at first, but they soon became excruciating. I was forced to leave the tribal village and my friends. Their healing waters were good, but I needed access to more modern forms of medicine. The diagnosis by a doctor in Quito – Hansen’s disease, better...

One of the world’s most enduring mysteries has taken a major step closer to being resolved. Amelia Earhart disappeared 75 years ago in an attempt to fly around the globe at its equator, never to be heard from again. Now, researchers believe they’ve discovered artifacts that belonged to the famous aviator on a far-flung island in the Pacific Ocean, suggesting that Airhart was able to land her plane on the deserted isle. Serendipitously, a team of scientists from the World Yahtzee Institute had been conducting a study on the Yahtzee habits of Pacific Islanders when the artifacts were unearthed on Nikumaroro Island. The team was more than willing to lend a hand at the dig site. Their assistance helped lead to the major discovery of the expedition – a jar that presumably contained a freckle-remover cream favored by Earhart.  But Steve Janson, the WYI team’s lead researcher, believes that the jar has been misidentified. “Clearly this was no jar of freckle cream. As an expert in the are...

** Reporting live from Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival ** Day 3 at Coachella is officially a wrap, and the star of the show has been dead for 15 years! Tupac Shakur appeared onstage as an Obi-Wan-esque glowing hologram from beyond the grave. The unanticipated set made waves as the holographic rapper performed alongside Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg to a rapt audience. The spectacle caused such a commotion that the World Yahtzee Institute was forced to postpone its popular workshop, “The Hidden Harmonics of Yahtzee”. Apologies to our readers who were expecting a write-up of the workshop results in tonight’s blog post. It seems like Tupac has released a new album each year since his death – it was just a matter of time until he got on stage again. We’re just sorry that the timing has wreaked havoc on our full schedule of programming at Coachella this year. The workshop will be held at the same location next Friday, April 20th at 9:00.

It’s the second week of April – Spring is in the air, birds are chirping, and electronic metal arms are raising their clenched fists into the air. That’s right, this is National Robotics Week! Yahtzee has long been intimately intertwined with cutting-edge technology. From Henry Ford’s custom-made “Yahtzee Stimulator” of the 1920′s to today’s electronic handhelds and computer versions, Yahtzeeists of all stripes love to incorporate technological wonders into the simple old-fashionedness of the game. But a new marvel has outdone them all. A fully-functional Yahtzee-playing robot is making its debut this weekend at the Robotics Challenge 2012 in Las Vegas. The cleverly named “Yahtzee-Bot” is a humanoid robot from the waist up with super-dexterous hands that are equipped with double opposable thumbs. The extra thumbs allow the machine to generate extremely high levels of dice action, resulting in magnificently precise rolls. The robot has been undergoing intense testing for the past five m...

The World Yahtzee Institute has received stacks of letters in the past few months with inquiries into the findings from the Nepalese archaeological dig. The dig, located in the Himalayan foothills, had produced what appeared to be a very early Yahtzee set – perhaps the oldest Yahtzee gaming equipment yet unearthed. It has been exceptionally difficult to keep a lid on the turn of events that occurred upon my team’s arrival to the site, given the high profile of such a find. The last thing I’d ever want to do is to withhold information from my fellow Yahtzeeists but the powers-that-be imposed a gag-rule until all of the facts surrounding the matter had been brought to light. I’ve been given permission to speak openly about the matter as of this afternoon. My team and I arrived in Nepal last October and began our investigation. Our initial tests of the artifacts – which consisted of two fully intact dice, a shard of a broken die, and a yak bone shaker cup – seemed to indicate the authenti...

Hi Rollers, Rick here. These cold dark nights and short brisk days got me thinkin’ ’bout the health of my fellow Yahtzee comrades. You see, we’re in the midst of the dark doldrums of winter and it can be hard on a fella’s or lady’s outlook on life. Of course the prescription for this ailment is sitting right in your chest of drawers or wherever you may keep your sacred Yahtzee game. If you find yourself feeling a little blue, allow a little red cup to lift your spirits. The best way to do this is with a good ol’ Yahtzee cleanse. Of course, cleanses have been used to maintain well-being and bring balance back to one’s life for as long as there has been Yahtzee itself. Perhaps even longer. Cleanses generally have a spiritual bent and a Yahtzee cleanse is no different. A Yahtz’ cleanse is the perfect way to bring harmony and balance back into your life and into your rolls, aligning mind, body, spirit, and the perfect Yahtzee game. Some traditions take the cleanse a step further and requir...